Be True to Yourself

"When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief." -Lyanla Vanzant 

Putting others before you may seem so easy to you, we where raised to respect and help others. But, sometimes we need to put ourselves before others, it not selfishness and wrong to do so. Actually we must first help ourselves before we can help someone else, and when we do so, the outcome is beyond better.

You know you are doing a great thing by planning your best friends wedding but, are you happy doing it? You shouldn't have said yes when you actually meant to say no. You are putting your needs and wants aside for the happiness of another. And when you do so, you are showing you need someone else's approval to make yourself feel approved in order to feel whole.

Don't be afraid to say "no". Speak the truth, do not be afraid to "betray" others so you can be true to yourself. Don't lie to yourself just so those around you can be happy. Cinderella's step-mother never did anything for her, so why should she? Cinderella lived an unhappy life until she met her prince charming. Put your needs and wants before others, do what makes you happy.

You have your own path to walk, if you keep choosing what others say, you will never be truly happy and at peace. You can achieve wonderful things if you live your life in a way that makes sense to you. When you put yourself first and make your own descions, you will become more happy and you learn to better yourself which helps you better service those around you.

Lyanla Vanzant said, "Whats in the cup is yours and what comes out of the cup is theirs" In other words, when you're true to yourself and truly happy you can help those around you be true to themselves. You can't always give, give, give; you need receive in order to give. Find happiness and you will be able to give happiness.

5 Tips to Help YOU Put Yourself Before Others

#1 Find Your Purpose
Write down what you want for yourself. Then analyze how you are going to get there, what you need and what you don't.

#2 Balance
Yin/Yang, Positive/Negative, Light/Dark, without one there can't be another. If you are always giving and not giving back to yourself, there will always be something missing.

#3 You are Important
Yes you are important. Cut yourself some slack, do what makes you happy, you are the controller of your path.

#4 Listen to Your Heart
Listen to your desires, your needs, and to what your heart is telling you. If you feel something isn't right, you are not giving yourself enough.

#5 Put yourself First
Live for you. Stop living for other people and things. Don't ever stop moving towards the path you know you must travel.

"It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul." -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Thank you for reading! If you have any topics or questions you would like for me to blog about don't hesitate to message me at ashlynmartinez78@gmail.com ALL messages will be private.

Mr./Ms. Wrong

If you are questioning your relationship often because your partner keeps you off-balanced or even keeps you guessing where you stand, you may be dating Mr./Ms. Wrong. If you're currently single but want to avoid getting in a relationship with Mr./Ms. Wrong than I suggest you read the following to help you ignore this giant jerk.

Warning: The following points may prove your partner is the wrong person for you. Read with caution.

-Different Interest's
All couples are going to have differences, of course you like pineapple in your pizza and your partner may like mushrooms in theirs. When it comes to dating, you both should be able to do what you would like. If it's watching the game or Mean Girls , if your partner really likes you, they would suck it up and watch it with you, because that would make you happy. If your partner shows no effort into your interest's, you may be with Mr./Ms. Wrong.

-Mr./Ms. RIGHT
Your partner is always right no matter what. They tend to always be right even when you know they are wrong. When your partner doesn't even hear your side of the story or even include your opinion, than you may be wasting your time hearing their's.

-You're the crazy one!
Even when you are faithful and do nothing wrong, your partner blames you for their mistakes or even for just standing there. Your partner may be getting after you for no reason but, you are not crazy, they are!

-Attention, Attention!
You have to fight for your partners attention. If they don't try talking to you, nor make time to see you, it is obvious you don't mean much to them. If they don't try, why should you? Stop wasting your time.

-Drama Seeker
Arguments are normal in every relationship, even with your best friends sometimes. But lately you have been having constant battles with your partner over the smallest things, and that is not normal. They bring unwanted drama into your relationship and you honestly don't need that. If they can't find peace in anything you do, why spend your life with someone who keeps getting after you for liking your sisters Facebook post.

-Mr./Ms. Wrong are always first
No matter how busy you are, your partner still wants your attention. They call you at work, tell your friends you won't be able to make it to poker night or even make you miss out on your nieces birthday party. You should be able to do what you want, your'e not dating your mom.

-Sorry, not sorry!
Mr./Ms. Wrong will never say sorry, even after they did wrong. They don't agree they did wrong and will never agree to not do it again. When someone really cares about your feelings, they will apologize and admit they did wrong and promise you they will not do it again. You shouldn't be the one apologizing for their mistakes, you don't need Mr./Ms. Wrong.

If any of these factors sound like your partner, you know who you are dealing with. If your partner is the opposite of what I mentioned, than you got nothing to fear, you are with Mr./Ms. Right!


Thank you for reading! If you have any topics or questions you would like for me to blog about, don't hesitate to message me at ashlynmartinez78@gmail.com ALL messages will be private!

In with the New, Out with the Old (Change)

I am pretty sure there a lot of people who have said/done things they now regret. You may have left a bad impression on someone and you wish you could go back in time and fix it. Well you can't time travel but, if you show people the new you, they will eventually tend to forget the old you. 

Now change is hard to accept, especially when you realize you are not the same person anymore but, change is important. Change reminds you that anything is possible, it means progress. And, when I mean progress, I mean you will find more doors open that come with new opportunities and experiences that may benefit you in positive ways.

Change is scary, even when you don't know what the outcome may be and who you may loose along the way. But you should not be afraid, the right people will stay in your life and it is your choice weather you want good or bad vibes to interfere with your life. Change keeps things interesting, you learn to have a much more open mind on things than you use too. Not only that, but it helps you move on. Why spend your life lingering and in disappointment about your past when you can change and better yourself. You still have a future.

Change will happen, it is a necessary part of life. The world is advancing so fast, we are forced to change as well. And when our world affects our life, we change without even noticing it. A great example: kids back then to kids now. We spent hours outside playing and interacting with other kids and, the kids now spent hours on their phones in bed. So if change is going to happen anyways, why not be the change you want to be.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi


Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. If you have any topics or questions you would like for me to blog about don't hesitate to message me at ashlynmartinez78@gmail.com all messages will be private!

Long Distance Relationships

Since I just started my blog, I'm very surprised on how much messages I have been getting, thank you everyone who has spent the time to read my blog!

I was asked to blog on the topic of long-distance relationships. Do they work?

Yes and no. If you know me, you would know I tend to move every six months from Texas to Washington, so I have been in two long-distance relationships. My first relationship lasted 11 months apart from each other, that's almost a full year! Lets cut to the chase, it was horrible. There was so much trust issues that lead to fights after fights, but I guess I was right in a way, I found out later he was cheating on me. How was I suppose to know what he was doing when we were miles apart. So of course things ended between us.

My second long-distance relationship lasted three months apart. It honestly felt like I never left his side, we text all day everyday. He had my full trust, I guess its different with different people. I knew I had nothing to worry about while I was away. And when we reunited, it felt so magical because, deep in my mind I had missed him so much and just being able to feel the comfort of his body was incredible.

My point is long-distance relationships can work if both people make it work. Communication should literally be the definition of long-distance relationships, without it there is no relationship. Remaining constant contact and webcamming can really help your relationship stay at a steady balance. Trust is also the key, in any relationship really. If you can't trust your partner, then you shouldn't really be together. You don't want to be living with constant frustration on what your partner may be doing while you two are miles apart. A great way to keep trust issues down to a minimum point is keeping the spark between you alive. Express each others feelings, and explain to your significant one what you love about them.

If you are ever feeling doubt in your relationship, just remind yourself why you started dating in the first place. And if that still isn't enough to carry on in your relationship, than I recommend you to part, and if it's meant to be, it will be, not now but maybe in the future.

Besides, if you really love this person and you can see yourself with this person in the future, than distance means absolutely nothing!

Thank you for reading! If you would like for me to post a blog about a certain topic or question, don't hesitate to message me at ashlynmartinez78@gmail.com ALL messages will be private!

Best Friend's Ex-Girlfriend/Boyfriend

I received a message yesterday asking, "When is it a good time to hit on a friend's ex-girlfriend?"

Well it depends on how close your relationship is with your friend. If it's a friend you hardly talk to, then it's fine to talk to your friends ex. BUT you must know your friend is totally over his/her ex, then you can make your move. Just know it's going to be awkward between all three of you.

Now if you and your friend are very close, then I say abroad mission! Is your friendship really worth over some person? If they are worth it, then first you must know they are completely over with each other and I mean completely, what if you start pouring your heart to them and the next day they show up together at your party. But if they are completely over each other, then you can make your move, but take things slow, like really slow! Secondly, talk to your friend if it's okay for you to talk to their ex. Chances are they might get upset, depending on how the relationship ended with their ex, but what do you got to loose by simply asking, they may actually be totally cool with it. But REMEMEBER, your friendship will never be the same, it will always be awkward especially when all three of you are in the same building. Make sure you give a lot of thought about your decision, your relationship might not even work out and at the end you may have lost a good friend.

Overall, do what your heart tells you, if they are worth it, then make the move!

Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like for me to blog about, don't hesitate to message me @ ashlynmartinez78@gmail.com Don't worry all messages will be private. Have a blessed day!

Love yourself.

Lately everyone has been desperate for love. Boys are seeking love in every girl that catch their eye, girls want to settle down and marry the guy they've been with for 3 months. But you can't truly love someone if you don't truly love yourself. First you got to learn to love yourself. Find yourself. Do the things that make you happy, do stuff that you catch yourself smiling for no reason. Explore your wonders, adventure your wants and tackle your fears. Enjoy yourself. And when you find yourself, when you are happy with what you have become and what you have done, that is when you are ready to love someone else. Stop putting yourself down, it honestly does not matter if popular Regina doesn't want to be your friend or if quarterback Ken doesn't find you attractive. These things won't matter in 10 years. So stop worrying about what everyone thinks, and live your life like you want, find yourself and love you!

3 ways to learn to love yourself:

1) Listen to what you feel instead of others. 

You know it's true, you love how the dress fits but your friend finds it ugly. I say buy the dress! We tend to listen to others opinion than ourselves and you are rejecting your inner thoughts. Put yourself before others

2) Don't try to be perfect.

Umm nobody is perfect, so why try to be something no one is not. Show those curves off and smile because someone out there loves your braces and your nerdy glasses. One day you will find someone who can't get enough of your freckles.

3) Exclude the negative.

Nobody needs negative in their life, especially when you are tying to love yourself. You don't need someone in your life putting you down, plus what good are you getting out of that mean person? You can't fly if someone is holding your wings down.